long time no post

The ocean takes me to a place of peace
I feel the ocean’s soul and I'm content, I have no worries, I'm at ease
What I would do to live in the ocean and bath in the sand
Swim at every sunrise and mesmerize every sunset
I want to run on the beach and dive in the waves….have no regrets
Swim like a dolphin and grow with the coral reef

I want to be a part of the ocean like the ocean is a part of me
I feel the oceans soul and it pulls me in
Into a place of happiness and peace, I am the ocean
The ocean is a beautiful place but it can take you in
Swim...swim fast with the waves and you'll be okay
I'm loved by many and I see love
I see you holding hands and staring at the moon
I see you walking hand in hand, I knew you would come
Sit by my shore and wait for the sun
I'll make the day beautiful and allow the sun to reflect off of me
Come to me and let go of your thoughts and fears
I am the ocean, swim with me and I'll catch your tears

Dee Kindrick
(Couldn't have said that better myself)

So we are back from about 10 days out of town and boy its amazing how gross your house can get when you are not there. The sun through the windows brings a lot of settled dust to clean up. Next time I go away I think I am setting up a cleaner for the day before we get back. It took me all of Thursday and most of Friday to straighten up get back in order. With that we had 2 days of lazying around the house (much needed). By Friday afternoon Sophia and I needed to move so we headed up to Red Ball (Target) and got some house goodies. That was our big adventure for the week (2 days at home). Later in the evening we attempted to make our way to NT for Canal fest but got taken back by the rain. So we crashed a friend and her husbands evening went to a great little Greek restaurant (which, small world was owned by a good friend and her husband and I had not seen them in forever). We thought we would be able to go back over to Canal Fest since the weather broke but time is not always on your side with a very routine 2 year old. As I write this its mid Saturday, and still a bit gloomy outside. We had a few different sets of plans today but the weather and the changes in plans just put me in a stay at home kind of mood, plus Jeff ended up working (always, when is he not) so I felt kind of bad about going out while his weekend was squashed. That's the catch up on the week.

On to the "big fish" I am struggling with so many things right now and its a bit hard to really be focused on just 1 of them. So for today I am going to use this as a journal entry (thank you for baring with me on this).
This school year my team mate and I noticed something, well lots but one thing really glared at me especially toward the last few days of school. We all need different things! Wow that was just brilliant huh? Let me explain, some people need to be praised for everything big and small others do not, some need to be showered in gifts others do not, some need to be noticed, (you get the pattern), some need people, some need space and the list goes on. I have always thought of myself as pretty self sufficient(kind of had to be). Over the course of the past few months some things in very different parts of my life have just really brought forth the differences of people to me. I think it is God's way of making us grow. Its forced me to do some soul searching and understand that while others may need me for things its ok that I am not given those same things back (hard pill to swallow)

II Timothy 1:7 For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control.

I am so working on this right now and trying to swim through some heavy fears. (Regarding the above and what I need, always thought I needed to be the victor and make it out of the storm strong and on my own.
While in Florida I had an afternoon with my dad, we didn't say much but we just kind of laid on the couch together, I felt I needed to hold him and just let him know it is all ok, so I just placed my hand on his knee and for a moment there were no worries. Over the course of 5 years my dad has battled cancer and this was the first time he actually used the words "I have cancer" with me. A few days after, I was able to share a wonderful long hug and some tears with my Step mom and again for a moment there were no worries.
Its amazing to me that we are designed that way to need people to lean on, hug and hold, cry with and for. Everyone handles life in different ways and everyone gives what they can and handles what they can.
Just a thought next time someone is not being who you need them to be, look at yourself and see if you are being who they need you to be.


Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Psalms 119:28 My soul is weary with sorrow: strengthen me according to your word.

Isaiah 40:29 He gives power to the weak. He increases the strength of him who has no might.

Heavy prayers for many tonight....