A Journey to Cake..

(yes even Kitty helped to blow out the candles)

So from start to finish, the request full fat Alfred tortellini was a hit, heavy cream, butter and all. I had to toss in some Broccoli just to pretend there was some balance.

But I must say, I played a fast one with my Vegan chocolate cake and butter cream frosting! Absolutely so rich and yummy, moist and high there was no outward trace of anything missing. I have to admit to using a traditional Bavarian cream filling though, a long hard search came up with no options in that department.
If you need a cake for any reason I urge you to use this one!
Based on Chef Chole's (the winner of Cupcake wars) Spooky Halloween
cake recipe
http://www.chefchloe.com/
3 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups sugar
2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (I used dark)
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups water
1 cup vegetable oil (I used corn)
¼ cup vinegar of any kind (I used apple cider)
4 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 teaspoon instant espresso powder (optional)


1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and grease 2- 8 or 9 inch round cake pans. You can put a circle of parchment paper on the bottom of the greased pan to remove the finished cake easily.
2. Sift or whisk together the flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, and salt into a bowl. In a separate bowl, mix the water, oil, vinegar, vanilla, and optional espresso powder until smooth and espresso is dissolved.
3. Pour the wet mixture into the dry mixture and mix with a whisk until combined.
4. Divide the batter evenly among the 2 prepared cake pans. Bake for about 30-40 minutes, or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean.
5. Once the cakes are completely cooled, frost the tops of each layer with the orange frosting and then stack the cakes.

Vegan Chocolate Buttercream
( I halved this, due to the Bavarian cream filling)
2 C. Earth Balance Butter, room temperature (I used 2 sticks)
12 oz. Vegan Semi Sweet Chocolate, melted and cooled (3/4 of a bag)
3 T. Plain Soy Milk (I used almond)
2 t. Vanilla
5 C. Powdered Sugar (I used 2 cups)

Beat the butter in a stand mixer until fluffy for about 2 or 3 minutes. Slowly add melted chocolate with mixer on low. After chocolate and butter are well combined, add vanilla, milk and sugar. Beat at medium low until just combined. This makes enough to frost 2 8-9 inch cakes.

I followed this but added the chocolate at the end because I wanted to color some of it.


Bavarian Cream Filling
From Joepastry.com

1.5 ounces (3 tablespoons) cold water
2 1/4 teaspoons gelatin
4 large egg yolks
3 ounces (1/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon) sugar
1 1/2 cups half-and-half
Seeds from one vanilla bean
1 1/2 cups heavy cream, cold

Put the cold water in a small bowl, sprinkle on the gelatin and let it stand. In a large bowl, whisk together the eggs and sugar.

Get a large bowl of ice water ready.

Put the half-and-half in a small saucepan, add the vanilla seeds and whisk to combine. Bring the mixture to the boil, then slowly pour it into the egg mixture, whisking the whole time. Pour the entire mixture back into the saucepan and bring it just to the boil. When the custard starts to bubble, pour it through a fine mesh strainer into another bowl. Whisk in the gelatin and place the bowl in the ice water bath.

While the custard is cooling, whip the cream. Add the cold cream to the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a whip and whip to the soft peak stage. When the the custard has just started to thicken but is still liquid, fold in the whipped cream. Scrape the mixture into the appropriate mold and chill in the refrigerator for a minimum of 3 hours. It can be kept several days or frozen for up to three months.

I made the cake and filling the day before and the frosting when I got home from work. I could have done the whole cake the night before but I didn't have space in the fridge to seal it properly without damaging the frosting.

Enjoy this cake just because you are you! Its kind of proof you can have your cake and eat it too without going crazy. For me, making little tweeks here and there and taking out some of the ick makes me feel better about feeding my family and taking care of our bodies.

My knight

He rescued me from my foolishness as a teen and has been along for the crazy whirlwind of a ride ever since.
He has lost wars with me and conquered many more.
Handles my stress as his own and sits patiently when I need to melt, waiting and breathing for me.
Hears all calls and needs for help with an eagerness not known by many.
Gives himself away in the hope to make me whole again.
Never holds "it" against anyone almost to a fault.

Yes that is my Jeffrey. I take it for granted time and again. And over the past year as I have tried to push him away so that I had control over the pain, the loneliness and the hurt, he stood and waited for me to snap out of it. There is not much more I can say. Soft and squishy emotions are hard for me. I hide it well. Hence my "suck it up and move on" moto. But I can say I plan to celebrate his birthday, I am glad he hasn't "moved on", God knows I have given him many chances and "easy" outs.
I thank God for him each day.. God knew exactly what He had in store for me and knew who could handle the journey along side of me....

The week ahead

So I am back and life moves forth...
Here's the week in food:
Enchilada's
Cheese and Broc soup with salad
Jeff's Birthday dinner request- FULL FAT versions of Alfredo tortellini, chocolate cake with Bavarian cream filling and Buttercream frosting (after all this I will not be eating the rest of the week)
Homemade veggie burger and smokey onion rings
Taco casserole
Vegan Ruben wraps
Veggie curry

I came across this quote - "Learn to love prep work -Holding raw ingredients in your hands and throwing fresh veggies into pots. Watch in amazement as your fingers hold an onion and a bunch of greens and create magic"
Its true there is magic in food. It heals, mends, holds, makes friends, marriages, and grows us all.
I have never been an emotional eater, I am an emotional cooker but I must say aren't we all. Watch someone's face as the set out a home cooked meal for the first time or make their child birthday cake, or bring a meal to an ill friend or grieving family or a newly made family.... Emotional, yes, magic, yes!

As it Jeff's birthday week I wanted to make our sweet treat of the week in honor of him.
Iced Oatmeal Raisin cookies
2 Tbsp flaxseed meal
1 cup oat flour ( make your own by processing the oats in the FP)
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
2 Tbsp vegan margarine, softened (I use SmartBalance)
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup applesauce or prune puree (I went with homemade applesauce)
1 tsp vanilla extract
1.5 cups old fashioned oats
1/2 cup raisins or dried cranberries (I used currants)

Icing:
3/4 cup confectioners' sugar
2 Tbsp lemon juice

1. To make cookies: stir together flaxseed meal and 3 Tbsp water in a small bowl. Set aside. Whisk together oat flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt and cinnamon in a large bowl. Set aside.

2. Beat margarine, brown sugar and sugar in a large bowl with an electric mixer (or a Kitchen Aid!) 1 to 2 minutes, or until light and fluffy. Add applesauce, vanilla and flaxseed mixture, and beat until smooth. Stir in oat flour mixture with a spatula or wooden spoon. Add oats and dried fruit and stir to combine. Cover and chill for two hours or overnight.

3. Preheat oven to 350F. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper or coat with cooking spray. Roll cookie dough into golf-ball sized rounds, and place dough balls 1.5 inches apart on prepared baking sheets. (This recipe says it makes 24 cookies, but I only got about 16.) Flatten each cookie to 1/4 inch thickness with the bottom of a drinking glass dipped in water. Bake 10-12 minutes or until cookies look dry on top and are just beginning to brown.

4. Meanwhile, prepare icing by whisking together confectioners' sugar and lemon juice in small bowl until smooth; icing should be thick, but spreadable. Gently brush icing on hot cookies with pastry brush. Cool 5 minutes, then transfer to wire rack to cool completely. Store cookies in an airtight container.

I made the mix tonight and in the morning will pop them in the oven and send him off with fresh cookies....

Prayer

Have you ever been caught in the middle of a drought or a raging fire inside your heart and head? Have you ever noticed in the midst of the strongest cry that your tears have stopped as you have no more? Woken up in the middle of the night from the thud of your own heart beating so fast from the nightmare that rages in your head each day. Looked in the mirror and not recognized the person staring back at you as you've become numb to all around you?
What do you do with all of this, PRAY
Its not a secret to those close to me that the above is my life, and has been for some time. But to those looking in.... well, there you have it.
But I must say even with all of that, there is a strange peace and strength that I have always known, its been over the last 4 years that I have called that strength and peace by name, JESUS.
I am not on a soap box here or creating my own political ad, I am just sharing.
I have friends, loved ones, and people that I walk daily with fighting some difficult battles in their lives:
Sickness, Grief, Anger, Loneliness, Difficult pregnancies, Aches for conceiving, Empty marriages, Parting marriages, Job needs, Jealousy, Doubt and so much more. These pains are real to those that are carrying the burden and should be real to us that are not.
Prayer helps.... It gives answers, it gives HOPE, it can make some of the blackness turn to gray and even to white, it can heal and mend, it can give us strength.
I feel the need to place it on your heart that whatever your view or belief is that you find a moment and pray. It does not need to be a perfect script, most of my prayers just start with "Hey God..." He hears, and answers. Even when the answer at that moment makes no sense to us, minutes, days, or years later it will.
"Prayer For A Friend"
Casting Crowns

Lord, I lift my friend to You, I've done all that I know to do
I lift my friend to You
Complicated circumstances have clouded his view
Lord, I lift my friend up to You

I fear that I won't have the words that he needs to hear
I pray for Your wisdom, oh God, and a heart that's sincere
Lord, I lift my friend up to You

Lord, I lift my friend to You
My best friend in the world, I know he means much more to You
I want so much to help him, but this is something he has to do
And Lord, I lift my friend up to You

'cause there's a way that seems so right to him
But You know where that leads
He's becoming a puppet of the world, too blind to see the strings
Lord, I lift my friend up to You
My friend up to You

Lord, I lift my friend to You, I've done all that I know to do
I lift my friend to You

"there are Witches in the air...

Over the past few days, my little one has become a Halloween enthusiast. (well not really) She loves the light up pumpkin a co worker got me, has memorized "the spooky version of the wheels on the bus, wants to fall asleep to the 5 little pumpkin poem and is telling some odd stories with her imaginary friend dapper and wolves.....
So I saw this cute treat in a magazine and had to make them for her to take to her play group.
Witchy Pudding
"Jell-o" pudding cups in vanilla
Green food coloring
Chocolate wafers
Orange Frosting
Sugar cones

Take the pudding out of the cups and wash the cups. When dry, draw the witch face on the cups. Put a few drops of green color in the pudding and mix it up. Fill the cups back up. Place a wafer on the top of the pudding cup. (holds up the cone and acts as a seal for the pudding) squeeze some orange frosting on the wafer and top off with a cone.
You can wrap licorice around the hat or add other Halloween treats but I thought they were cute just as is.

Hope you all have kept your bellies happy. I am taking a break for about a week or so. Use this time to try out a new recipe, go to the library and check out a new cook book, share a meal with a friend or bake something unexpected for a neighbor.

We have a neighbor down the street, Mr Tom, whom Sophia adores....His wife past away from Cancer a few years back (instant bond) and I make a point, almost each week to walk him down some fresh cookies or homemade jelly or even soup. I just think how he would miss those treats that his wife would have made and love to see his smile when Phi hands him his goodies, what a lesson for Phi. We call it meals on stroller wheels, cause it usually get carted down in the basket of a stroller.

Sometimes, unexpected kindness and love can pull someone out of the deep hole they might have found themselves that day. There is so much power in love! Its just that simple. It weaves a life vest for those that need it. Just show up and love! It saves, heals and holds like no other.
(S, C, H, J, JA, L, A, JG ~ I can't even begin to explain how you stepped in at the right moment and gave me my very own life vest. God has used you and our friendship in such a way that I could never have imagined. Thank you for your love)

So worth it

I was looking for a way to use my apples in my homemade granola bars. I found this yummy bar recipe at 10:30 pm a few nights ago, well lesson learned READ THE WHOLE RECIPE BEFORE COOKING! or like me you'll be up for 3 hours making them. I ended up making the crust and the filling one night and Sophia helped me the next day with the topping which actually worked out better because our letter of the week at home is A, so I told her we were making A for Apple Pie bars. She loved it.

APPLE PIE BARSwww.RecipeGirl.com

CRUST:
1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
3/4 cup sugar
3 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

FILLING:
6 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/2 cup light brown sugar
12 Granny Smith apples (about 6 pounds)—peeled, cored and thinly sliced
1 tablespoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
1/2 cup water, as necessary


TOPPING:
3 cups quick-cooking oats
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups light brown sugar
1 1/4 teaspoons cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes and chilled

My Thoughts(this topping recipe makes a ton, I tweeked it some to my taste and health preferences, but a standard crumb or strudel topping will work)1


. Prepare the crust: Preheat the oven to 375°. Line a 15-by-17-inch rimmed baking sheet or jelly roll pan with parchment paper. With an electric mixer, beat the butter with the sugar at medium speed until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. At low speed, beat in the flour, spices and salt until a soft dough forms. Press the dough over the bottom of the prepared pan and 1/2 inch up the side in an even layer. Bake in the center of the oven for about 15 minutes, or until the crust is golden and set. Let cool on a rack.

2. Meanwhile, prepare the filling: In a very large, deep skillet melt the butter with the brown sugar. (If you don’t have a large skillet, divide between 2 skillets). Add the apples to the skillet and cook over high heat, stirring occasionally, until softened, about 10 minutes. Stir in cinnamon and nutmeg. Cook until the apples are caramelized and very tender and the liquid is evaporated, about 10 minutes longer; scrape up any bits stuck to the bottom of the skillet and add up to 1/2 cup of water to the pan to prevent scorching. Let cool.

3. Prepare the topping: In a large bowl, mix the oats with the flour, light brown sugar, cinnamon, baking soda and salt. Using fingers (wash your hands and take off your rings first!), squeeze the butter into the oats & sugar and crumble together until the mixture resembles coarse meal. Press the mixture into clumps.

4. Assemble the bars: Spread the apple filling over the crust. Scatter the crumbs on top, pressing them lightly into an even layer. Bake in the center of the oven for 50 to 60 minutes, or until the topping is golden; rotate the pan halfway through baking, and keep an eye on it to make sure the top isn’t getting too browned. Let cool completely on a rack before cutting into 2-inch bars.



I think I am going to try them again with a pumpkin squash filling, I am sure they'll be just as yummy.

Happy Bellies all

Random thoughts and more

I just love this picture of Phi grazing in the Apple Orchard. No cares, no worries no fears. Just on a mission for the perfect fruit, aren't we all?

(and) So another week is upon us, the air is crisp, cold and fragrant of all things fall. Within me, stirs an unsettled feeling of too many major moments all happening at once. So of course into the kitchen I sink. Most nights have consisted of me up till 10 or 11 cooking something, not because I need to or want to for that matter, but to help ease my fears, hurt, anger, guilt and sadness.
I've been praying for clarity and strength lately as I feel like I've been hanging out in the forest alone for way to long. Have you ever felt that way?
Well through this life, our day, other lives, the world, the seasons and everything else is still moving at lightening fast speeds. I have been trying to be aware of where my head and heart are each day and it seems to help steer the course of the day. On days when things are turned on edge, I retreat, On days or moments when they are good I rejoice and fit in with the masses.
During this time I have also been praying for others, for in the grand performance of it all, my life and hiccups do not measure up to those in the heat of the battle with sickness, grief, struggles, and need. Pray for someone today, they need it.

Now on to yummier notes of the meals this week:
San Marzano tomato sauce
Lettuce wraps and dumplings
Veggie Alpha soup
Mushroom and Veggie tartlets with bulgar salad
Enchilada bake
This weekend is another busy one of dinners with friends and a Halloween zoo adventure So Friday and Sat does not need to be planned.

In talking with a friend, I had this huge awakening, Sauce! It is so simple and yet scares so many people. If you make your own you cut down on fat and sugar too.
Here's one I just tryed (which by the way in the foodie blog world has been floating around as a must try, for me it was very close to what I typically make mine actually has a few more steps then this one but its a good starter)

Tomato Sauce

1 large can of whole peeled San Marzano (I usually us my own canned, but this kind of tomato was one of the reasons this recipe is being praised)
5 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 medium-sized yellow onion, peeled and halved not diced (my step mom shared this with me about 1 year ago and the flavor is wonderful when used this way)
Salt, Mint and Fresh garlic to taste
(my secret 1 whole potato)

Put the tomatoes, onion and butter in a heavy saucepan (it fit just right in a 3-quart) over medium heat. Bring the sauce to a simmer then lower the heat to keep the sauce at a slow, steady simmer for about 45 minutes, or until droplets of fat float free of the tomatoes. Add the whole potato (It soaks up the moisture and thickens the sauce) Stir occasionally, crushing the tomatoes against the side of the pot with a wooden spoon. Remove from heat, discard the onion, add the seasonings to taste (you might find, as I did, that your tomatoes came salted and that you didn’t need to add more) and keep warm while you prepare your pasta.
SO SIMPLE Right?
There are so many versions of sauce there really is no wrong way, its a matter of taste and texture.

Make it easy on your self and make this x like 6 or more. Let it cool completely and package it in ziplocs or other freezer safe dinner sizes and you are ready with your own "jarred" sauce in no time.

So here's to another day, hour and minute, and the prayers and shoulders that caryy us through.
Keep your belly happy